Reading Glasses

By Jim Elder, Finance Editor

Reading Glasses

[May 2019 | San Juan Silver Stage | By Jim Elder, Finance Editor]

From the beginning, I was blessed with excellent eyesight. In elementary school, I could read every letter on the eye chart. So, to show off, I started with the bottom line with the teeny tiny print. The school nurse would shake her head and say, “Move-on.” As a child I never experienced being called ‘4 eyes.’

On long family vacation trips, we would play the alphabet game with all my siblings. That is the game where you start with the letter ‘A’ and look for that letter on a sign, building, or license plate before your opponent could find it. With my eyesight, I could complete all the alphabet before any of my siblings could get to the letter ‘Q.’

Throughout my life, I have enjoyed and taken for granted my superior eyesight. It came in handy when reading the small print in contracts.

As age progressed and body parts began to break or fall off, my eyes were not immune to this wonderful deterioration process either.

Gradually I began to hold the newspaper further away to be able to see the print. This continued for a few years until I ran out of arm length. At times, it looked like I was playing the lowest note on a trombone with my arms stretched out to the fullest.

My option was to either start using reading glasses or have an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon to lengthen my arms. I chose the first option.

I promptly made a trek to Walgreens and sheepishly purchased my first pair of readers. They were a 1.0 magnification. This worked well for a while until I realized these readers were not working anymore.

So, I made another trip to Walgreens and bought a pair of 2.0 readers. These look more like coke bottle glasses. My eyelashes appeared like palm leaves waving in the wind every time I would blink.

Regardless of how silly I looked, I could at least read the words. I finally found what I was searching for!

I like those glasses so much, that I went and bought a few more pairs. I placed a pair by my bed, a pair in my truck, a pair by my recliner, and a pair at my desk.

Sometimes, I would be without my reading glasses so I would buy even more. Now I also have a pair in my coat pocket, on the dining table, in my car, and in the barn.

Now, after a few more trips to Walgreens, I have glasses everywhere! They have multiplied to a ridiculous amount. There are so many that I think they may be reproducing themselves like rabbits.

When you walk into our house, it kinda looks like an optical store but with only one kind available. With all these glasses cluttering our house, they got sat on, dropped and stepped on, and occasionally dumped in the trash can.

So, remember when you are working on your finances, make sure you are wearing the correct glasses so you will have a clear vision of your financial road map.

Jim Elder is a fiduciary financial advisor and money manager for Elderado Financial in Montrose, Colorado.